Understanding Neurodiversity Through a Queer Lens
Neurodiversity isn’t just a clinical term—it’s a way of recognizing the amazing variety of human brains and experiences. For LGBTQ+ folks, being neurodivergent often intersects with identity in ways that shape how we navigate relationships, community, and self-understanding. In the final episode of our six-part Neurodiversity series, I (Renae Johnson, they/them) sit down with Mikey Whited (they/them, Psych NP) to reflect on the series, answer listener questions, and explore what it really means to live as a neurodivergent queer adult.
Recognizing Neurodivergence
One of the first questions many adults ask is: How do I know if I’m neurodivergent, and what does assessment actually look like? For LGBTQ+ individuals, traditional assessment tools often miss queer experiences or masking behaviors. Being late-diagnosed isn’t a failure—it can be a turning point toward understanding yourself and finding support.
Ask yourself:
Have I ever felt “different” in ways I couldn’t name?
How might my experiences of masking or coping strategies have shaped my self-perception?
Trauma, Stress, and Neurodivergence
Trauma and chronic stress can sometimes mimic neurodivergent traits. Struggles with emotional regulation, hyperfocus, or transitions can overlap with the impact of living in a world that doesn’t always make space for queer bodies and minds. Naming these patterns helps normalize difference and reduce internalized shame.
Ask yourself:
Where do I notice stress or dysregulation in my body and mind?
Are some of my challenges rooted in trauma, masking, or neurodivergence—or a combination?
Communication and Relationships
Navigating relationships as a neurodivergent person can be complicated but also incredibly rewarding. Emotional regulation, sensory needs, and masking behaviors may create tension—but they can also foster empathy, creativity, and deeper connection when approached with curiosity instead of correction.
Ask yourself:
How can I check in with the people I love without judgment or expectation?
What communication strategies help me feel understood while respecting others’ experiences?
Intersectionality Matters
Neurodivergence doesn’t exist in isolation. Gender identity, queerness, and societal expectations all shape how ADHD, autism, or other traits are expressed. Masking may be necessary for survival but comes at a cost to authenticity and mental health. Recognizing these intersections is key to self-compassion and building supportive communities.
Ask yourself:
How do my intersecting identities shape my experiences of neurodivergence?
Where have I learned to hide parts of myself, and where can I safely unmask?
Community Care and Radical Acceptance
Thriving as a neurodivergent queer adult isn’t about erasing differences—it’s about learning to work with your brain. Neurodiversity therapy offers a space to unmask, connect with people who understand, and explore identity with care and clarity.
Ask yourself:
• How can I cultivate spaces where my brain and my identity are fully accepted?
• What small acts of care or connection help me feel supported and seen?
Living with neurodivergence as a queer adult is a journey of discovery, acceptance, and adaptation. Your brain isn’t broken—it’s uniquely yours. With neurodiversity counseling, understanding how your brain works becomes a radical act of self-care, community building, and celebration.