Identity-Based Harm, Embodiment, and Community Care

As a queer therapist, I want to name something I see over and over again in the therapy room—and in our communities: when people are harmed because of who they are, that harm doesn’t just live in the mind. It lives in the body. And over time, it quietly erodes our sense of belonging.

Identity-based harm—whether it shows up as racism, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, sexism, or religious intolerance—is not a one-time event. It’s cumulative. It’s the microaggressions, the vigilance, the pressure to shrink or perform, and the ongoing reminder that certain bodies are treated as less safe or less worthy in the world.

Reflection: Where do you notice your body responding when you enter spaces where you feel like you don’t fully belong?

When Disconnection Becomes Protection

Many LGBTQ+ folks, especially those holding multiple marginalized identities, learn early that disconnecting from the body can be a form of survival. If you’re told—directly or indirectly—that you’re “too much” or “not enough,” it can feel safer to live in your head, over-function, people-please, or strive for perfection.

In therapy, this often shows up as high achievement paired with exhaustion, or emotional shutdown paired with shame. I want to be clear: this isn’t a personal failure. These are intelligent responses to ongoing harm.

Reflection: What strategies have helped you stay safe—but may now be costing you connection or rest?

Embodiment as Reclaiming Choice

Embodiment isn’t about being calm or grounded all the time. It’s about developing awareness—of breath, sensation, emotion—so you have more choice in how you respond. When we reconnect with the body, we begin to notice what we actually need, not just what we’ve been conditioned to tolerate.

Disconnection from community often mirrors disconnection from the body. And just as importantly, reconnecting to one often helps restore the other.

Reflection: When was the last time your body clearly signaled a yes—or a no—and you listened?

Community Care Is Not Optional

Community care isn’t about doing everything for everyone. It’s about collective responsibility, accessibility, and empathy. For folks navigating identity-based harm, healing rarely happens in isolation. We heal when we are seen, believed, and supported.

You don’t have to be “fully healed” to take up space. You don’t have to have it all figured out to belong.

Reflection: What would it look like to seek community that supports who you are—not who you’re expected to be?

A Both/And Path Forward

Working with identity-based harm requires a both/and approach: caring for your nervous system and challenging the systems that caused the harm. Small steps matter—whether that’s grounding your body, naming your experience, or finding spaces where you don’t have to explain yourself.

If this resonates, know this: your responses make sense. Your body has been doing its best. And healing becomes more possible when we do it together.

Learn more about trauma therapy and how we can help, reach out today.

Closing Reflection: What is one small way you can offer yourself—or someone else—more compassion and connection this week?